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I run a knife down my chest and open myself up to you [entries|friends|calendar]
Bethany aka Becha

[ website | check my badself ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

thanks, i almost drank bong water... [20 Nov 2005|09:11pm]
[ mood | baked out of my mind. ]

yeah, so i come in mad thirsty and i see a nice big glass of water. and bryan's all laughing at me and saying that water will get me really high. so i didn't notice at first, but then i looked at the water, and was like.. thank god i didn'r drink that.

so this weekend kinda was like blah. but i had some fun for the most part. friday i don't really remember what i did. i know i went to the bay campus and did some tour thingy. it was weird. so we really didn't do much friday night i guess. i think we just drove around or something. then saturday we did dump runs and that was okay. then we decided to go to providence, me, b, skip, ben, and jessica and her friends. that was weird. we just walked around and bryan and i got into a fight. then he like picked me up and dropped me so i fell on the ground and wouldn't get up till he picked me back up again. so this weird black kid walks by and looks at me the entiring time while walking by. it pissed me off. so then we went home. and we picked up skip's mom and she complained about the heat, and then it was to hot. then bryan and i sang frank sinatra and chilled. i think we freaked her mom out. w/e. then we drove around, blazed, didn't do that much. and that was pretty much the night. today was straight. it was mos def a more relaxing day. bryan and i chilled in bed and snuggled and watched the scifi channel. then we went out to buy bogeys and came back. then later we picked up and went to ben's to chill with him and skip. and bryan and ben played their guitars and it was eternal bliss. i was happy. alice in wonderland was on tv too, so that was pretty chill. tomorrow i think bryan has practice. so i guess i'm attending that. for the first time i might add. i'm still wondering what they sound like. then i guess bryan is going to start some type of band with ben. so that should be pretty interesting. right now bryan's making me spagetti and meatballs. i love him so much. he's really the best. we had such a good day today. just chillen. we brough our green child to ben's house. i was so tooted fruited that i couldn't even walk. so nevermind drive. then we met up with adam and hung some more. now its time to eat and relax.

thanksgiving is coming up. yuck. that means one more month and its christmas.. then i'm off to nicaragua and it's my birthday. JEESUS! talk about a busy schedule. what else can i possibly be doing? i know... hmmpf. but yeah. so thanksgiving.. going to pk's house. so that means we should be eating some good food. everytime we have thanksgiving at grandmas.. the food is either burned, not warm enough, tastes like rubber, doesn't taste right at all, too much pepper.. etc, so i'm thankful for that. i wonder if were still going to remember to pick names for christmas. everyone in my family exchanges names in a hat and then has to buy presents for them. in the meantime someone dresses up like santa claus and hands out all the present for the kids. yadaa ya ya. it gets old. but one time my mom made tacos and burritos for christmas. that was pretty cool. my mom also makes the best tacos and burritos might i add. she got her experience for owning the taco house. word word word. anywho. i'm blabbing on. i really lost my mind tonight. i can't really think much. i'm in a daze. irie is whining to come in. to bad. learn how to open the door yourself. haha. i'm also sitting 1 foot away from the door.. but thats how dazed i am. because i know if i decide to get up, i'm going to get really dizzy. and i feel like i'm on a role with typing here. and i just stare at the screen and watched every single letter appear on the screen. how fucked up am i right now. i'm sure everyone can tell. here comes the paranoia. haha. damn i'm fucked up. so anyways. in school i'm using most of the ink and paper so i can print recent journals. going from 2003 till now. and so on and so forth. so after that i'm going to collect every piece of paper in every single shoebox, collect every note and what not, and start writing a book on bethany's life. that should be quite interesting. would you want to hear my whole life story? maybe its boring, but everytime i think about the past and everything that's happened.. that should be a book. cause my life has had some serious fucking shit happen to it in 18 years. by the way. i'm turning 19 in two months on febuary 14th. what the fuck is that? 19. i feel like i just turned 18. shit flies when youre always high. fuck time anyways.

becha.

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goodbye sunshine. [17 Nov 2005|06:28pm]
[ mood | snuggling.. jealous? ]

don't you hate it now that the sun goes down at, like what.. 4, 5 o'clock? doesn't that kinda suck? that means, from the time i get out of school, at one, i have like 3 hours to enjoy my day. how joyful could my day be if there's no fucking sun for the rest of the fucking day! anyways. the moon is looking quite beautiful tonight. very nice at third beach too. i <3 bryan. he's the coolest guy in the world. so i picked him up at the regular time today at work. then we went to meet up with one of our friends for a bit. then we went back home so bryan could change out of his stinky painter's clothes. then we rolled a blunt and went around the drive. and guess who called on a trip? chris harrop. haha. it was a very random call. but its cool. chris lives all the way in providence and that sucks. but we might try to meet up with him this weekend in providence when we go up their with pistachio and her boyfriend ev. word word. i had a fun day chillen with them yesterday. even bryan said it was a change. we haven't just chilled and smoked anymore. its always in the car when we're in a rush. so its chill. irie flipped out too when we went into pistachio's house. she was running and barking. it was pretty funny though. so today i chilled with skip after i got home. we spent most of our time at the DMV. which sucked, but knowing us we make it fun. we were hanging out and her aunt lisa (snobby?)and her cousin evan come into the place. haha... it was funny when skip was talking to them they would just look at her weird. no one treats my skippie like that. but anyways. we had to go smoke bogeys after they left. gooosh. we were sitting in the chairs outside of the DMV. in the sun it wasn't that cold out. so it was alright. then she had to drop me off so i could go get bryan at work, and her mom made her go back out there and wait in line still. i really hate and always try to avoid that place. but anything for my skips. so now i'm home chillen. it was a pretty long day, school wise. i almost got suspended for skipping my high school class. me and zino went out n chilled and w/e and we ended up getting caught. haha. so now i'm not taking that high school class anymore. well its not like i care. but anyways... i think i'll just do it independantly. i'm going to nicaragua soon. i'm nervous too.. not only for myself, but for bryan and skip. i feel bad leaving them behind. all by myself. ouch. no bryan for two whole fucking weeks? what is a girl to do? i'll tell ya what.. no other girl better go near bryan! bitches get fucking slashed. lol. i trust bryan anyways. and if we've been going out for 2 years, he's more than loyal. he's my lover! our relationship is still to good to be true. i love him with all my heart. i really honestly do. so i guess bryan's meeting up with all his old friends for christmas or something. john is coming home around christmas time, so i think a few people might get together. well, bryan's playing video games, and i'm getting lonely so i'm peacin. laterz

becha

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going to nicaragua... here i come..... [10 Nov 2005|12:00pm]
[ mood | chillen... almost bogey time!! ]

hello fellow friends.

time is short, so is life. i'm going to nicaragua very soon. two more months and i'm gone for two weeks. so chillen time is a must. i will be attending hopefully a few shows before i go (LINDEN DRIVE ROCKS!!). however, gime me some emails so i can add you to my emailing list. okies?

so far nothing much has gone on this week. just chillen, relaxin. hanging with bryan skip ben and adam and lori, and the dogs. and whomever decide to pop over to say hullo. i havent talked to a lot of people in a while... i know, i have no friends, i just need to except that. but anyways. today is a crappy fucking day. it rained this morning and last night actually, so that made my car all squeeky and annoying sounding again. i get so sketched out in school. i skipped my capstone class today. fuck that place anyways. i hate the way they treat me there. like i'm nothing. well there nothing to me. so BLAH. but yeah.

lori has been in a constant drunk state of mind for the past two weeks. so its been a pretty chill two weeks hanging at loris, bombin, and more bombin.

okay tell me why this doesn't make any sense: in school you can access certain websites, other websites they block and what not. well i cant get on myspace, however i can go on a website and learn how to build bombs, and pipe bombs, and smoke bombs. i mean come on... how annoying is that? alls i want to do is go on myspace.... but noooo... fuck the school policy. fuck it.. and fuck everything

nicaragua is going to be awkward for me in every possible way it can. do you ever get the feeling like someone is mad at you. i feel like everyone is mad at me. i know bryan is mad at me... for one reason or another, whats the excuse today. but... i feel like the entire world is mad at me. maybe i'm just so paranoid. p.s. <3thanks mike. yeah. mike is going to nicaragua, so is tasha. so you know what were going to be doing for the next two weeks in central america? DRINKING LIKE MUTHA FUCKIN FISH. boooya. yeap... well i hope no one misses me. cause i'll miss this place like crazy <333333333333

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sleep? nope. [26 Oct 2005|09:29am]
today is a wednesday. the worst day of the week for me, because its the last day that i don't have money. the last day were i run out of cigs, run out of my green friends, and run out of food.

i'm in my capstone class right now and i'm so behind. no motivation. if a class gets hard, i give up, plain and simple. but anyways.

this weekend is gunna be bombo. friday night is jen's little party thingamajig at her place, and then saw 2 comes out too. so hopefully i can do both. that'd be rad. then this weekend is like real close to halloween so i want to go on some haunted hayrides or perhaps, the facory of terror or whatever it's called. that sounds like a fun weekend. last weekend was awesome too because alls bryan and i did was chill inside and watch tv all day, and sleep mad long. it was great. bryan and i took the day off yesterday. it was fun. we bombed at loris most of the day and made mad food, and bryan made the bombest french toast in the history of french toast. (i didnt even think he could really make it) but anyways. this week is going cool.

i even have a new friend. i want to classify her name for now though, so i think i'll call her... "jussy". we talked about dave a lot on monday. and ever since then its been racking my brain hardcore. i can't stop thinking of death again and of dave. i got so scared last night because bryan always falls asleep after i do to make sure i'm safe and sound, but last night he passed out before me, and it really fucking scared me. i couldn't get to sleep.

but i gotta run.. time to go. peace lovers.
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[17 Oct 2005|08:51am]
[ mood | coffee!!!!!!!!!!! ]

yeah so today is monday. yuck. i don't feel like dealing with my capstone class today. alls i do is get hassled in that class. fuck this teacher man. he sucks so much. and complains and complains. its over in ten minutes. can i last that long before walking out? hah.. hopefully. i really just wanna listen to my music. i recently bought a new laptop and i've downloaded so many great songs. bryan and i had a fun weekend of dancing around the house. yesterday was the best day. even though i'm kinda mad at my friend r. he said we would hang out and blah blah blah, but then he said he was in boston cause his girlfriend made him go and he sat around boston watching tv for 3 days. yeah, really beats hanging out with me instead. i wish i had money to get a coffee. i really hope i qualify for unemployment. i have to call the number where they tell you if you do or not. over the weekend was also skip's 18th birthday. congrats my love. the rain from the past week left 7.6 inches of water in my basement. so today i have to go rent one of those water pumps and get it all out of there. i can't even do laundry anymore =(. well i gotta run. but ya... peace ya'll.

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[14 Oct 2005|07:37am]
i now have a "cell phone" 401-662-3654. give it a call sometime. =) there is soon going to be a party... so gimme a call.. its a halloween date!
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how much do i hate school.. let's put it this way.... [21 Sep 2005|09:09am]
[ mood | chillen.. hungry ]

where does all the time go? recently i've been reading lots of book. lots and lots. i really like reading because it helps me escape from the basic reality, and into the story. like i'm there, watching, listening, actually being part of the story. so school is a drag. i'm supposed to be doing my Capstone project, but i don't know what i should be doing. i'm confused. larson isn't even here anyways. what a dumb cunt for having a baby when i finally decide to take this course. so i really hope i can go to CCRI in january. i need to see some more civilized older mature people before i kill myself in this little stupid fucking high school of middletown's. this place is so whack, you wouldn't even believe it. seniors in this class are so fucking tiny, its just weird. i really wish i could've graduated last year. with all my friends, people i actually feel comfortable with. there are a lot of things i miss right now, in this certain point of my life. some of them obvious, others, not so obvious. i don't even know when this class ends. its making me mad though. i really need a cigarette, my nerves are to high. atleast i get to drive to and fro ALP. thats straight. i have time to smoke ciggys inbetween. i can't, however, access my LJ over at ALP. so that kinda sucks. and no matter how many times i try to fix my fucking computer, it doesn't work. so now i can't fucking put songs on my I-Pod, or do anything else for that matter. i really miss having friends, or atleast more people to hang out with. i always feel i screw it up though, which i probably do. hopefully i'll end up running into some familiar faces pretty soon here. i can't wait to work this weekend. hehe. my friend will be back in town so we can chill at work. halieuaih. sp? i dunno. i suck at spelling. did i mention i'm reading a lot of books now? its quite weird, because about 2/3 years ago, i HATED reading, or anthing that had to do with using my head. but now i can't stop reading. i think its because it helps me focus on other things, besides whats really important, so i can kinda just slack, relax, and read a really good fucking book. SKip has to pay almost $4,000 for her car accident she got into. and if she doesn't pay that fee, like in a month, then her mom has to claim bank ruptcy. how fucked up is that? i wish i could give her money, then again, i'd have no money to give her because i barely saved a penny this summer, although i was good with budgeting, and making my money last throughout the entire week. bryan depended on me in the summertime, which was fine. i was rolling in dough, and besides i rely on him in the winter. well i'm off. i'm getting a little sketched.

if anyone wants to hang out or chill, please gimme a call, i talked to christine pike on my "surprise half birthday" and she never called me back :(. oh well. peacer. -becha*

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end of summertime. [27 Aug 2005|11:01pm]
[ mood | holla ]

so school starts on wednesday, 4 days away. it's been a very short summer. i feel like i haven't gotten anything done. but i have. i've made the best of it. working was fun. i had so much fun down there this summer. it was great. i started a bank account. =) which means i really gotten something done. august 25th was my "surprise" birthday party but ricky ruined the surprise for me. jerk. but anywho.. i got to hold a baby beagle puppy. he was so gosh darn cute. i wanted him so bad so irie could have a friend, but he was $800 FUCKING BUCKS!!! f- that. so anywho... i got an i-pod the other night so i'm downloading a shit-load of songs so.. i'm off.


-becha

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summer summer-time [30 Jun 2005|12:26pm]
[ mood | poopy ]

i'll have to put all the pictures i've been taking on here. there terrific. today is my mommy's birthday. horray hoRRayy. she's only 39. still a youngyin. anywho. summer is here and i'm working my booty off to save money. gimme a call anytime you'd like. 401-846-1313.

-love bethay champs.

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tired of everyone. [31 May 2005|10:35pm]
[ mood | pissed off. ]

 

                                  i'm really tired of everyone, or not everyone but some people, of whom i don't know but would soon suspect, making false rumors. if someone has any questions about anything, they should atleast come to me first before making fake accusations about stupid shit that never even went down. i'm really tired of this town, and i probably will never look back when i leave. what's there to even look back on? just a depressing, immatture town that i used to live in. it makes me so sick to my stomach. and it really breaks my heart. it breaks my heart so much because this town never used to be like this. these people were never so angry and tried to hurt everyone. everything seemed so peaceful back then. i really miss it. the only people i will miss when i leave will be skip, and my family and some of my other friends, but everyone else; i hope you have a good fucking life, but i want nothing to do with you. i'm tired of being treated so bad. i'm tired of everyone saying it was my fault, or bryan's fault. fuck off cause know one will ever know the truth. no one except me. i'm sick of people ruining my life and making me feel so alone. i want nothing to do with anyone ever again.

 Irie Dogg and Bonzo, the new kitten. they love each other. <3

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eating my dove smooth milk chocolate. yum yum. [26 May 2005|09:06am]
[ mood | okie dokie mood ]

it's been awhile... eh?

So this morning has been non-stop. My grandma is in a bad mood, for practically no reason what so ever. and when she is in a bad mood, it tends to affect everyone in her presence. So Bryan had to drop his car off this morning so the muffler could get fixed. i wonder how much that'll cost. Then i had to drive him out to the ocean drive cause thats where he's working this week. I decided just not to go to school today because.. its shitty and school will put me in a mood im trying to avoid right now. so instead i think ill clean and make the room look pretty for when bryan comes homes.

Yesterday bryan and i stayed home. we slept in till about 10 then went out. i love staying home with bryan. we always have so much fun together. My mom decided to finally take me shopping for my prom dress yesterday. So we all trooped up to fall river to go to the mills. It didn't take long till i picked out the most gorgeous dress in the world. Im surprised bryan didn't drool all over me. When i showed my mom and bryan what it looked like on me, bryan's mouth just stayed open. he's so cute. So my dress is black. and its so perfect. After we got home yesterday from getting my dress i took skip up there to look around. she didnt find anything. one thing we found out yesterday was: BEN IS GOING TO PROM WITH SKIP. haha. i'm stoked for her. even though bryan said i'm more stoked than skip is. hehe.

so last weekend was pretty fun, and i hope this weekend will be the same. on friday we went to the show blaire's school was putting on at rogers. she was in the part where everyone tap-danced. she was so cute. bryan's little sister Gina was in the show too. she's adorable. my cousin justin just had to come with us though, and i'm glad he did. we bought like atleast 20 cupcakes from the bake sale. that was the best thing too cause before we went to the show we smoked two blunts and i was fucking starving marvin. lol. on saturday bryan and i went to my uncle's house to play "music trivia" with my dad's side of the familys. Bryan and I were on my nanmar's team. we had so much fun. my aunts and uncle's were a little boozed up though.&nbsp; but we had lots of fun.

i'm ready to go to prom now. i love getting all dressed up and pretty. this prom is gunna be a blast compared to last prom. i hope atleast. bryan and ben are going out for tux's soon. haha. our men are so cute. lol. well i need to geta cleaning! peace! love! happiness!

 

here's some pictures i've taken over the past week.Collapse )

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fuck you for leaving me here. i wish you could come back. [17 May 2005|07:31am]
[ mood | fucked up. ]

Okay.- Sunday was the worst day. I stepped on two huge nails, rusty btw, and they punctured my foot pretty badly. it's been about 3 days now that i can't walk on my left foot. i can't go to school either because its on the third floor. and all those stairs, i would probably damage my foot even more. so that really fucking sucks a lot.

yesterday i didn't go to school. so i chilled with tha skippa for some of the day. we ended up picken up ben around 2. he looks so different. his hair got longer, and curlier. skip was so stoked and i was so happy for her. hopefully we can get this kid to realize whats going on... he's an awesome kid.

i'm coming back into an emotional breakdown. no one will ever know how bad this hurts. i cant stop thinking of the accident. i feel numb threw my hole body, and i just want out. i really just wanna see and talk to him again, i want to tell him everything that i didn't have a chance to say. i wanna hold him one last time. there are so many things i would do if he were still here. and it kills me inside to know that, he's not coming back. i was talking to skip about all of it yesterday. and its really hard for me to talk about it. so hard to even imagine. i feel like the more i talk about it, the more i'll remember it, then the more i'll think about it, resulting in me being even more sad. it's been 2 months and 2 days, and sadly..

                                 i will never ever get over this.

 

so i'm home today. by myself. i didn't wanna let go of bryan this morning, i don't want to be alone again. i want to be held for the longest time. i need to let it all out. but i feel like i can't cry anymore. i feel like i don't deserve to mourn. i was with david for a long time, but before he passed, i barely talked to him for a year. and that kills me even more. i feel like such a fucking ass for not talking to him. i just need some closure. i wish i knew how he felt about me before any of this happened. i wish i could believe my sister when she told me that he still loved me. but for some reason i can't. its to unbearble to think about. that he still loved me? or even cared the least bit? i'm so confused. i don't even wanna think that he still loved me, that'll just kill me even more. he'll always be in my heart forever.

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to my love... [14 May 2005|10:11pm]
[ mood | in love... ]

will you be with me forever?

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SURPRISE! [13 May 2005|01:15pm]
[ mood | chillen.. wud up? ]

so yesterday i came home, and take a look at what we got..

                      

                            

its a pimp ride. i intend to get a lot of stickers and cover that mother fucker. its mad fun to ride and it goes pretty fast too. i'm trying to get another one so we can have a race in my back ride. sickage. i took tobe on a ride and we were flying. and i even crashed into one of my trees yesterday. and when berk was riding it she almost hit a telephone pole and a truck. after we rode around on that thing for awhile, we went to the carnival. haha its so whack this year. there is basically no rides whatsoever. its worthless. but bryan and i went on the bumper cars last night with tobe and we had a fucking blast. it was so much fun. i got severe whip-lash but it was so fun. lol. tobe went on the 1001 knights like 3 times. i was so afraid for her. poor little thing. hahaha. but yeah. today should be good cause its friday. and i left school early cause i felt mad queeze.maybe i should go clean my room? haha peace. 

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blah blah blah [11 May 2005|02:11pm]
[ mood | bryans coming home.. stoked ]

i got bored, so shoot me.Collapse )

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forever<3 [09 May 2005|07:01pm]
[ mood | <3 ]

Hello again my fellow friends. i've come back from the hole i've fallen into. i was stuck there for awhile. undecided whether i want to climb out or just stay there. i decided to climb out because there will be sunny days. i want to see those sunny days.

sunday was the best day out of the whole weekend. bryan and i just had so much fun together. from the moment we woke up. i owe him so much. he's the greatest guy i could ever ask for. he's the only one i've ever asked for. he's my b.

i wish i could take skip and shrink her into like this tiny tiny tiny like.. ferry like thing. then keep her in my pocket, and peek in everytime something funny happens and crack up with her. thats always so much fun when skip and i just crack up over nothing.. and we sound so much alike, we makes all the same noises and what not. it's because we've been friends for a long time. longer than i've had any other friend. well.. almost as long. i don't know. but anyways.. mad props to my skip-a-loo. no other girl means more to me, well besides my mom or Irie Dogg. anywho.

i need warmed sunnier weather. this cold, gloomy, shitty weather is making life hard. well atleast miserable. i want to enjoy my srping.. not have it rain the whole fucking time. dammit. irie keeps barking. lori keeps pissing her off. today lori fell asleep in the tanning bed and skip and i knocked on the door while saying her name for about 15 minutes. finally she woke up. i felt so stupid but at the sametime it was hilarious. so i'm stoked cause i'm going to the prom. i just need to find a dress to look beautiful in. hopefully my mom takes me shopping for one soon. that'd be killa. bryan is coming with me to prom too. he's going to look so handsome. he always does all dressed up. he looked to gorgeous when i went to his prom with him. except for the dreds.. lol. well he still looked fly. so hopefully this prom will be more eventful than the last. the last prom sucked.. a lot. but maybe it'll be different this time, cause i'll know more people. perhaps.. i hope skip comes too. it'd be nothing if she weren't there. she's my bestest friend and i want her to be there all the time. i'm so glad her phone is turned back on. now we can call each other. haha. its better than just surprising her and showing up.. well i'm sure thats fun too. but i'm freezing. burrrr.. i'm off though. take it easy.

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tonomy hill, thats where i want to be... [30 Apr 2005|06:29pm]
[ mood | trying to be creative.. ]

the rain is so refreshing at times. i love how it makes all the new green look even greener. so this morning bryan and i did a dump run. this lady at the dump got out of her car and shut the door, but forgot that the doors were locked, and locked herself out while the car was running. what a dope. her car was right in the middle of everything. it was a pain in the ass. that was the most eventful part of the day, but other than that i've been reading my book while bryan's been playing video games all day. so i've been pretty content. i love my book cause i just can't put it down. it keeps my mind wondering whats gunna happen next. its a page by page kinda book.

so even though it rains out, you can still do something fun. i took an umbrella and took pictures outside. some of them are pretty cool. 

<.click.here.>Collapse )

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ughhh... [28 Apr 2005|10:41am]
[ mood | sick/lonely/depressed. ]

i'm sick. :(

yesterday was an extremely stressful/depressing day. and that being stressful i flipped out. i started hyper-ventalating and crying so hard. [anxiety attacks] and i felt so sick yesterday. it was horrible. so this morning i woke up at like 3-4ish and i was in so much pain. so finally i went into the bathroom and starting throwing up bile. (the yellowy acid stuff you throw up when there's nothing in your stomach). it was horrible. but after that i went back to sleep. and felt a little better. now i'm just dizzy and blahh. my head is killing me. i just want all the pain to go away. i want to go to the doctors cause i feel like something is wrong with me. i never have any energy anymore to even stay awake. but the only problem is, i have no money to go to the doctors. so let this living sickness conquer.

but the good news is.. Irie Dogg is now a women. she got her period and now she's bleeding everywhere. i need to get her fixed.. but once again... no money. hopefully i'll make some this weekend. my wrist is killing me. it feels all bruised and such. i'm ready for a vacation away from this place.

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[26 Apr 2005|08:05pm]
[ mood | just.. nothing. ]

Irie Dogg and me today. She's my pal.

Skip and I visited the beach yesterday. it was so cold. and i wanted skip to get into this bacco thingy.. but it was just too cold. lol. i love being with skip. she's the bestest. thursday we're going tanning again. it literally feels like your in a casket full of florescent lights. it was sketchy, but hey.

< this was mad sick at first beach. i bet i couldve broken into it and drove it around some. i'm a loser.

 

so not much has been going on.. school was the same today. my teacher dave and I played volleyball outside for a bit. it was fun. i went tanning today with berk, lo, and skip. then i had to go to bryan's step/grandfather's wake. that was kinda depressing. but i was there for bryan like he was there for me. it was sorta a nice day out today. it couldve been warmer like last week. last week it was like so fucken hot out. it was beautiful. a few beach days went by last week. so two more months till bryan turns 20. jesus fuck. i don't know what to get him. i'll have to surprise him with something. he means so much to me. he's the bestest.  last night we went out to chilis. there bathrooms are mad dirty. yuckage. we had some yummy food though. yum yum. so i probably have to work again this weekend. yuck but yay. money! money money moneeeyyy! <$><$> well i'm off. its getting late. peace/love/later

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with all my heart, i love you too. [23 Apr 2005|10:49pm]
[ mood | fuck off ]

some rather interesting photograpghy.Collapse )

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